Confessions of a Former Die Hard Perfectionist

Maybe former is a little too premature, but either way I am at least a “transitioning die-hard perfectionist.” We all have our days right?

Sometimes I think I was born a perfectionist, or maybe I just developed this unhealthy habit at a very young age. According to my mom I used to sit and draw circles over and over again only to crumple them all up because they weren’t “perfect.” I think I was around the age of four.
Who knew the road to recovery would take me to Amman, Jordan.
Somewhere in between feeling like I am in an eternal Girls Camp hell with zero water and dirty clothes, reading news articles two hours a day about gruesome Middle Eastern issues, and often being unable to finish all of my homework, I have learned to let go.
I have learned to let go because in the long run I will never remember that time I said “Satan center” instead of “Cancer center” or the time that one Taxi driver ripped me off, or the time when I cried in front of my classmates because I was having a bad day. Well, maybe I will remember them, but it will always be in a much more humorous and lighter light.
Instead I will forever cherish the moments in which I finally remembered how to say that one word I had been struggling with, or I ate warm pita bread on my way to school, or when I was able to read an article without looking at the vocab list, or when I went to an all-girls, Arab dance party, or when I watched the sunset with my roommates on our apartment’s rooftop with the call to prayer and busy streets as a soundtrack.
Yes, life is good. And when it’s not good, it is usually because I am focusing on the few “negative” things in my life, trying to get rid of them in hopes of attaining some false ideal of perfection.
The only way we can become more perfect is by first realistically understanding where we really are. Then, and only then, can we begin to progress.
The other day in class my Arabic teacher said that "it is very freeing to accept where you are and move on." Truer words have never been said.
I do my homework. Sometimes I finish, sometimes I don't. There are days in which words come pouring out of my mouth, and there are others in which I stumble over simple pleasantries. But none of this really matters, because I know (even though I can barely notice it) that on some level I am changing and improving.
Similarly in life our everyday experiences, whether "good" or "bad," change and mold us. So when we  accept where we are and focus on what we get out of our experiences, we are able to improve.
From a religious standpoint, I once read an LDS book that said when we are unwilling to admit to our faults or make mistakes, we are basically saying that our ability to be imperfect is more powerful than Christ's ability to make us more perfect.
I believe this applies to EVERY aspect of our lives, especially in moments of perfectionism. We are all so unique and we are here to work on becoming more perfect. However unless we can be willing to walk imperfectly, trusting God, we will forever remain in a limbo-state of the imperfections that we obsessed over in the first place.
So be honest with yourself, others, and God, and embrace every aspect of yourself and your life. My perfectionist days are (mostly) over and let me tell you- life has never felt so good.