Now and Then One is Quite Sure One is Going to Live for Ever and Ever

“One of the strange things about living in the world is that it is only now and then one is quite sure one is going to live forever and ever and ever. One knows it sometimes when one gets up at the tender solemn dawn-time and goes out and stands out and throws one's head far back and looks up and up and watches the pale sky slowly changing and flushing and marvelous unknown things happening until the East almost makes one cry out and one's heart stands still at the strange unchanging majesty of the rising of the sun--which has been happening every morning for thousands and thousands and thousands of years. One knows it then for a moment or so. And one knows it sometimes when one stands by oneself in a wood at sunset and the mysterious deep gold stillness slanting through and under the branches seems to be saying slowly again and again something one cannot quite hear, however much one tries. Then sometimes the immense quiet of the dark blue at night with the millions of stars waiting and watching makes one sure; and sometimes a sound of far-off music makes it true; and sometimes a look in someone's eyes.” 

- Frances Hodgson, Burnett, The Secret Garden

On Days in Which Water Tastes Delicious

Life is busy.

In fact, sometimes it is so busy that I forget to be happy.

I lose myself in chaos, school, work, and planning a far-off, distant future, forgetting how to feel and consequently becoming numb to the everyday joys of life.

But enough is enough.

A few weeks ago, after finishing a dramatic monologue for my mom about how difficult my life is, she wisely asked me: "Jordan, do you realize how blessed you are?"

And although I did not answer out loud, my immediate response was "no."

I often complain about school, how I am not as smart as I wish I were, how Arabic just gets more and more difficult, and how I feel like I rarely accomplish anything.

I often complain about being busy, not having enough time for "me," and not knowing what I am going to do with my life.

I stress about relationships when dating someone, and I hate first dates when I am single.

But enough is enough.

There are people in this world who never go to college, whether they want to or not.

There are people in this world who don't have enough to eat, can't read or write, or who live in constant fear of health and safety conditions.
There are people who never get to travel.
There are people in this world who are unemployed.

There are people in this world who have nothing, and yet I selfishly complain about having too much.

But enough is enough.

The other night, after getting home from a long day of classes and working two jobs, I sat down and quickly downed a huge glass of tap water.

It tasted delicious.

Parched, I chugged the water until it was gone while simultaneously reviewing my hectic day:

Job #1 was good-- I love my students. Watching them learn more and more Arabic everyday is one of the most rewarding experiences I have ever had. They are an extremely bright and humorous bunch, and they never fail to make me laugh with their wit and sunny dispositions.

I realized that I have a job I love.

Classes were also good, yet challenging-- my Arabic debate class consisted of a mock UN-esque meeting in which we discussed possible solutions for the current Syrian conflict.

I realized how far I have come since Arabic 101.

Job #2 was also good-- The high schoolers I work with at this camp are the most carefree, innocent people I have ever met. They all bring something special to the table (you have to if you choose to spend 3 weeks at a BYU Arabic-intensive language camp), and I feel so honored to answer their homework questions and tell them stories about the Middle East. However, I secretly benefit more from their sweet spirits than they do from my Arabic language skills.

I realized I had been missing out on so much joy that seems to come so easily to them. I also realized that I have two jobs I love, while others struggle to find one they sometimes end up hating.

I realized that I am so blessed with the people, places, and things in my life, and after finishing these thoughts and placing my cup in the sink, I realized that water had never tasted so delicious.