Au Revoir, Amérique. Bonjour, Paris!

So far, Paris has been... magical.

Even though I have only seen it through the windows of airplanes and an airport, their chocolate tastes great. Parisians also speak French to me, which I really appreciate because 1) I've always wanted to learn French and 2) French women are beautiful. I will also spend the next four months of my life sticking out like a frumpy sore thumb. So I'm going to take in these moments as much as possible.

Here are some excerpts from an email to my mom about my 5-hour experience in Paris:

Paris, Je t'aime!

Or however the heck you spell it.

I am safe and sound in Parigi, as we used to say in our true motherland, Italia.

I love it here, seriously. I will come back. I want to learn French. People have been speaking to me in French and I love it. I also shouldn't get used to feeling like a beautiful French woman because soon I will be in Jordan where I will stick out like a frumpy sore thumb. "Sigh."

The flight over here wasn't too bad. I maybe slept a total of one hour (I cannot for the life of me sleep on planes) and watched approximately 4 movies. One of which was Life of Pi. It made me cry. Almost uncontrollably. It was a very emotional experience. I don't do well when I get 0 sleep, so that + the whole experience being a little nerve-wracking + my period will be here any day now = EMOTIONAL GODZILLA JORDAN RRRAAAWWWRRRR. I hope you laughed at that. I live to entertain.

Oh, and I sat next to a nice Jordanian man, which naturally means he tried to flirt with me a little bit. But no worries. I totally know what I'm doing. I pretended to not speak very much Arabic and then I switched my rings to my ring fingers. If only he knew that I have taught Arabic for the past two years and that I am very much not married. He backed off a bit but still helped me get my bag down! Mwahahahahaha. Manipulation at it's finest. However, if he would have actually asked me about a husband, I'm not sure what I would have done. I probably would have just started describing Ryan Gosling ("He's super tall... kind of into acting... part-time gangster, part-time sex god, part-time comedian. He hasn't asked me to marry him, but he hasn't NOT asked me to marry him. So I'd say things are going real well").

Okay, I am now writing this email in a word doc because, guess what? They only give you 30 minutes of free wi-fi. Genius, but cheap. Merci NOT beacoup (sp?). 

Sacre bleu!

Having been here for about two hours I'd like to say I'm conversational. Just kidding. Only in my dreams.

Speaking of dreams, I once had a dream that I was pregnant and living in France. Let's just say that it is the only positive pregnant dream I have ever had. So this gives us a few options:

1) I will fall in love with a French man in the next three hours before my flight. I will come back in the near future, we will get married, and have a little baby named Celine... or Lucille... or... I don't know any French boy names. ThoMAS (emphasis on the MAS).

2) I will come back to France and... write a book? Or some other creative project that could manifest itself in a dream as a fetus.  You know, something I would "create."

3) It was just a dream.

4) Immaculate conception. French-style. Bebe jesu II.

French men are beautiful too. And their language is so sexy. So let's plan on #1.

Well, I love you all and I want us all to go to Paris one day. Or France in general. I don't need to have my future baby in Paris.

Also, remember to choose love, not fear. There's a lot of fear in the world, I've felt it more in the past few days from people then usual ("don't forget to listen when people say duck!" "isn't it really dangerous over there?" "you're going to wear a dark wig, right?"). But there is also a lot of love. Remember that we emanate and create the one we choose to focus on. So choose wisely, but also keep in mind that each moment is new. We literally came here to make mistakes, change, and grow. So go make mistakes, change, and grow.

As for me, I'm going to buy myself some chocolate.

-J-Dawg

P.S. Anna, let's move to France. Forget about school! You don't need it anyway.

Yellowstone Take Me Back

A few months ago I had the opportunity to go camping in Yellowstone with some close friends.

We stayed in teepees,

Explored the park,

And hiked mountains,

It was perfect.

My favorite part about the trip was finally feeling at peace- a feeling that hasn't been coming around as often as I would like it to between work, church, school, and life in general... all which seem increasingly taxing.

Nothing in Yellowstone required anything of me. None of the trees, animals, geysers, mountains, or grass needed my attention, affection, or time. They all just were- existing for themselves and each other, consequently producing a personal safe haven away from the daily grind of my overcomplicated life.

Just one look at the sky while there taught me a little lesson in simplification and letting go: we can't do everything, nor should we. And as soon as our lives become too busy for feeling, too busy for breathing, and too busy for ourselves, our lives are far busier than any Maker ever intended them to be.

Yes, this means letting go. Yes, this means prioritizing, and yes, this means a certain amount of decisiveness. It means drawing boundaries and making time for you to hear your own thoughts, feelings, and heart. A time to reconnect with yourself at the end of a day that ended up being all about others- students, coworkers, and friends.

Yellowstone, take me back.

Kindess

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."

-Plato

I write these words as I sit nearby a coworker who has, for the past few days, seemed to be fighting a hard battle.

I don't know her, I don't know her name, and I don't know her story, but I do know that she and a friend sat quietly in the corner the other day crying and whispering... the only audible words being "doctor" and "biopsy."

A few days later I saw her crying out of the corner of my eye as a friend gently rubbed her back while she wept.

Her eyes seem constantly tear-filled, her movements somber and sometimes nervous- hands occasionally rubbing against her thigh or pressed softly against her mouth, her eyebrows often furrowed, eyes distant- and her spirit slightly withdrawn from what goes on in the rest of the office.

I don't know her, I don't know her name, and I don't know her story, but regardless of whether she is fighting a battle or watching someone dear to her heart as he or she struggle, this woman embodies one truth I am sure of: Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.