Ode to Adulthood

As finals-induced panic sets in, I can't help but feel more and more pressure as graduation looms right around the corner.

Although I have another entire semester before I walk onto a stage for a diploma of adulthood/Middle Eastern Studies and Arabic, I can't help but feel anxiously nervous about the future.

Sometimes I know what I'm doing, and other times all I want to do is pack up my life and run away from it and all related decisions. While many people are content to stay put, build a life, remain safe in a comfortable environment, the idea of settling (down) terrifies me. 
Feeling trapped is my worst nightmare.
Doing poorly in school and missing future opportunities scare me to death.
I suppose that success, especially in school, is something that has been engrained into me from the beginning. Not that ambition is bad, but stressing about grades, building good relationships with professors, and obsessing over getting a good/meaningful job I love are sometimes very unhealthy symptoms that have taken over my life this semester. 
Unfortunately, I feel like this has come at the expense of a lot of happiness I could have experienced.
Not that I'm not happy, but I've seen better days, had better semesters, and definitely felt a lot more successful and ambitious.
This semester, however, has been different.
I feel quite burned out to be honest, and I realized the other day that I have let my life loose its savor. 
I have forgotten how to really live.
Like the kind of living that happens when school and studies fall into place, not because you spend so much time in the library, but because you are focusing on other, truly important things.
Because you are happy, and the rest is just details.
Not because all you think you need is a good job and superiors (teachers, bosses, etc...) who like you, and certainly not because school is the only thing you feel like you can control.
Would that be unhealthy otherwise? 
Is it bad if I feel like I'm producing mediocre work in school, the one thing I feel like I currently have control over, and hate it?
Is this what adulthood is?
Is adulthood having a job you hate because you need money? Or doing a job because it is "what you've always done," or "it's what i'm good at," but not necessarily what you love.
What if you don't even know what you love?
How crazy is that? You would think that the one thing I would know by now as a soon-to-be 22-year old would be what I want.
But I don't.
Instead, I feel trapped between "mature," "adult" responsibilities to settle down, get a Master's, and border-line hippy-flower-child desires to dye my hair blue, have a man with a beard as my constant companion, and/or move around the world endless whims.
Is adulthood going to grad school because you are too scared to try something else, something more risky and uncertain?
Is adulthood making your life so busy that you barely have time to realize how unhappy and stressed you are?
Is adulthood staying somewhere because you have nowhere else to go?
Is adulthood going somewhere new without fear of what you might leave behind?
Am I being immature when I say that, sometimes on a bad day, after an all-nighter and an oral exam that didn't go so hot, all I want to do is throw my life into a suitcase and leave?
Is not knowing what I am doing with my life just another dismal sign of adulthood or a result of lazy immaturity?
Is it possible to have everything I want?
Can't I be an adult, build meaningful, lasting relationships, and still lead an adventurous life?
One thing is for sure: I need a nap.