2013

As I sit at home counting down to the new year with chocolate and Netflix, surrounded by sleeping siblings on the couch and snow outside, I can't help but love my current life while reflecting on the past.

2012 was great and I learned a lot. 

Adjusting back into real life after Amman was fabulous, although since then there have been plenty of ups and downs.

Summer was amazing.

Fall was difficult.

Winter is right around the corner.

A new beginning is right around the corner.

Today a friend of a friend gave me a Tarot card reading, which I have always wanted to try.

Despite the fact that I went into the situation with zero expectations and 100% curiosity, something this friend mentioned particularly resonated with me:

"New is born with great upheaval."

Cryptic? Totally.

Did it make sense to me? Oh, in so, so many ways.

As mentioned this past semester was difficult, confusing, and tumultuous- full of anxiety and sadness about an unknown future along with doubt in regards to success in life (to name of few).

But recently something has changed and I have pinpointed both the source of confusion and the answer:

Me.

Howard Thurman, an American civil rights leader, author, educator, and theologian, once said: "Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."

Last semester I lost a lot of enthusiasm in my life. I stopped the process of coming alive.

I struggled to find happiness in my job, school, future plans, and sometimes even people, etc... because that's where I mistakingly placed my source of happiness.

But that's not where true happiness lies.
Although often affected our surrounding environments, true happiness emanates from within.

So my New Year's resolution is Me.

Not in a selfish way, but in a healthy way.

I will to get to know Me better. 

I will to be more intuitive towards my needs and wants, consequently becoming a better person to serve those around Me.

My happiness will depend on Me and my personal connection with God (my personal aliveness), not a job, or my level of popularity with teachers, or the amount of people with which I spend my time, or any other external factors.
I will focus on the wellbeing of my soul, both body and spirit.

I will constantly become alive so I can help others consequently do the same.

Because what we all need is people who have come alive.

What we all need is 2013.