Making Choices

Indecisiveness has always seemingly saturated the very fibers of my being.

I'm fairly certain that the very act of coming into this world was postponed by indecision.

Due date: December 25th

Birthdate: January 6th

Somewhere along the journey of passing through the veil into my mother's womb I must have begun my destructive habit of overthinking.

First baby thought: I'm not so sure about this.

Second baby thought: What was I thinking?

Third baby thought: I think I'll just stay here until a greater force can make the decision for me.

I imagine feeling warm and cozy in the womb, but I also imagine some discomfort and stress as my brave mother experienced both the joy and sorrow that this life gifts.

For both joy and sorrow are heaven-sent blessings.

Fourth baby thought: Hey! This hurts. Seriously, what was I thinking.

[cue birth and being received into a room filled with dozens of people filled with even more love than their bodily boundaries could contain].

Fifth baby thought: Maybe this isn't so bad after all.

First of many baby smiles.

I'm not joking. The nurses called me 'smiley.'

Recently I've realized that while our paths are rarely clear and our hearts somehow find more and more space to love, indecision and fear have the power to paralyze.

And as the surface area of our emotional hearts increase so do the opportunities for chipping or even breakage.

Hello, fear.

Hello, indecision.

But to live a life without choice,-without the heart-wrenching experiences this fallen earth allows- would mean a life without connection, love, and refinement.

May we continually be rebirthed through daily decisions.