Time Flies: Provo Edition

Once again, time flies. However this time it is stateside. I seriously cannot believe how quickly this semester has blown through my hands. Life really feels like trying to keep sand (or Holi Festival of Colors chalk) in my hands on a windy day, and its pace scares me.

It scares me how often I forget to enjoy, remember, and cherish it. It scares me how little I get to see my family as younger siblings grow. It scares me how much I want to do in life and how short it seems to be sometimes. It scares me how much I want to learn from it, too, and how little I seem to currently know.

Going to Amman was one of the best things I have ever done.

Something about moving millions of miles away from Provo, Utah was just what I needed about 7 months ago.

Now back, I am not sure what to do with the semester ending. I have plans for the summer (work&school), but a new semester scares me almost as much as the idea of life scares me.

I think what really scares me about life is not life itself, but the unpredictability of it.

Even though "destiny grants us our wishes, but in its own way, in order to give us something beyond our wishes (Goethe)," it is also "like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are going to get."

This concept, to me, is terrifying.

So much can change in a few months, let alone an entire year or lifetime. And even though I know it is exciting and great, I genuinely become a little scared for what happens next. Because life really is like an unpredictable, feel-good movie sometimes: you know it's going to be good, but you also know there will be setbacks and trials and you don't know the details.

So essentially what I am trying to say is that even though this semester has been tough, I admit that I am scared for it to end, because I honestly do not know what is next.

I'd like to think this is normal.